Met with Ai tonight at Geylang. She shared about being in the sex work business since 16. She shared about how her family don't check in on her enough. She shared about how she talked to God most of the time and sometimes even to herself. She loves her pets, always going home early to feed them. Ai is Singaporean, she doesn't like kissing men since young because she does not like the moist left on her lips.

An is also Singaporean, over 40. She shared today that her own daughter ran away from her many years ago with her money. She has an adopted daughter which she cares for a lot. She takes anti-depressants and says she thinks about her daughter a lot.

When Ai and I crossed the road, Ai she held my hands. She held it and I remember holding hands with my dad and mum and grandma. I was conscious of pressing her hand too hard as I didn't want to hurt her. She stared at me as if she knew of my discomfort. We parted ways after crossing and I said I'd see her next week.

Maybe I'm not used to getting close to anyone not even family members. But I truly liked Ai and An, their stories are bizarre and how they work through their days intrigued me. I wondered if they could cook...

a household story

there was once a family of 4 who lived in a tall building. the father and mother of this household had children at a young age. their children grew up in this household with great difficulty. their father is angry with their mother. at night, their mother is often crying and the children would wonder why. the children would often feel afraid of their father because he made their mother cry and also make them cry. when the children got bigger, their father and mother chose to live in two different houses. the children were separated, the sister left with the father and the brother left with the mother.

the sister grew up in the same household with the father. one day, she decided to stay with the mother but the father was not happy. the sister went to stay with the mother still and she was much happier.

the brother and the sister do not talk anymore. they do not know how to reconcile their childhood spent together. the brother got married and the sister lived with the mother. the sister soon found out that mother had problems when she was young. she did not tell the father and she felt this caused the separation. the sister then set out to find out more.

what the sister found out was very unsettling. the sister did not realise that the mother had a painful childhood. the sister then sat down and reflected on her life. the sister finds that her parents both had painful childhood memories. the father did not have a happy thought of his father. the grandfather was no more in singapore and the grandmother has passed away. the sister thinks there is more to the relationship between the father and the grandfather. she thinks the grandmother was made used of by the grandfather who was irresponsible. this made the father angry because he grew up to realise this truth much later.

the sister is left to think through the whole family history by herself. she thinks there have been many misunderstandings and memories not shared with the family. she then feels and concludes that she, her brother, her parents were nursing an inner child that has been hurt throughout their lives. she thinks that this is reality of life and that people are more than what they seem.

the sister cherishes her family despite the trials and tribulations she's been through to realise the history of her small family.

Sunday at Bottle Tree Park

I've not heard of Yasmin Ahmad before until her death recently. I was immediately fascinated at the links shared by close friends on facebook upon the news of her death. Yasmin, as I've understood it, is a filmmaker. One who has had several commercials done for Petronas. The significance of these TVCs were impactful for they were videos on inter-racial relationships as seen through the eyes of young children. I would have wished to be more immersed in her works, in order to share the loss. I would have wished to have been able to meet with her personally and hear her speeches/talks. I would have.

I'd next like to share my short trips over the week.

On Sunday, I got to know more about the work Ground-Up Initiative is working on. Lai Hock introduced me to the Sustainable Urban Farm otherwise known as SURF located at Bottle Tree Park. Because the trip from Bedok to Khatib MRT station took a while, I made plans to wake up at 6am. I ended up waking up at 6:30 only to make it 10 minutes later at the spot Lai Hock and team have agreed to meet at.

I was glad to have come and felt excited when I finally met him and the team. Lai Hock brought us for a 10 minute walk to the park. I met others in the team, one of whom posed to be an incessant irritant who happens to be an engineer. He later was set to task and built a make-shift waterfall. The space SURF got was small, the size of a 4-room flat hall space. It is elongated and there are 2 entrances, front and back. The walls have plastic covers on them. There are a few beds of spaces created along the sides of these plastic walls. There are 2 sinks built with dry leaves on the bottom to decorate, I presume. Maybe Lai Hock might have an elaborate explanation behind it, but I truly think it is aesthetically pleasing.

Lai Hock started out with a circle, to give introductions for new volunteers. And to also engage current volunteers into sharing what they're grateful for. From a first glance, it seemed like a circle of greenies, hippie-loving bohemians ready to start the treacherous day and support each other to weather the storms. From someone who opens herself up not too easily, I was not willing to share too much in the circle.

Lai Hock then talked about the tasks to do for the day. One of which involved transplanting which I put my hand up for. He got me and Andy, the Project Leader of SURF to pull out current plants and spread it out. What we didn't know was how to do it until Lilian, a former NEA expert came to show us how. Basically, the trick is to cut off the leaves and only plant the roots. That was what I did and brought home the leave to cook. Unfortunately, I am too quick to add to much lime into my dish while cooking the vegetables. It was too sour.

Confronting the Empire

Tonight was one of the first few nights I’ve witnessed a sense of progression. Aside from the activities in line for awareness-raising from the volunteers, L shared about the possibility of reporting cases of mismanagement of power from the police. This means, an officer using vulgarities and other verbal abuses will be dealt with. In a bid to confront the empire, L showed a spark of heroism. A long-time coming, or is it just me summing up a brief encounter?

H brought a friend who summed up her experience well. She focused on how the space made her felt, more specifically for areas where the ‘fishtank’ is and other darkly corners. The feeling of being on the edge and alert of one’s environment adds a layer of mystic to Geylang. The space feels like a township on its own, a character misunderstood by many. There are spots distanced from the main areas of visibility, suitably created for different dealings. A barber, a dealer or a teary woman. What’s their story?

Sunday's Reflections

Reflections from Sunday's Rowell Reading Group.

So this time around, it was Invisible Cities. We shared a text that had characters Marco Polo and Kublai Khan bro-mancing each other about social dimensions in a city. RI-C talked about a new shopping centre in Orchard Road and how it made him feel disconnected from the building. Not that a building can behave like a human being, but the fact that it is new, raw and demanding attention makes it less interesting. RO-C talked about his overseas stint in Oakland and Bangkok, the differences of it and how he eventually adjusted to Bangkok's untamed streets. As for me, I couldn't really figure out where I would choose to live but it would be awesome to explore South Asia for a bit. I've decided to pick up farming...somehow.

The Farewell Dinner

It was perhaps the most stressful week I've had organising this but I was glad that it was a nice evening. It is a blessing to have V's guidance. The documentary had interviews of Al-Amin and the men from Entrade Marine. I remember Al-Amin's beautiful voice when he sang to me one on one. Filled with soul, a slice of sadness and a generous spoon of energy. Al-Amin was DA man, he made drawings of a man and woman embracing. I remember asking him more about this, and out comes the part about a gurl gurl he's gotten in touch with. Could it have been suggestive? Al-Amin was a charmer, thank god he's gone home!

Growing food in our tropical climate

I was at a talk organised by Underneath The Radar this evening at Food03. The talk was presented by Ellis, who has been researching on urban farming. She had some video screenings, of which I did not arrive on time to view. I had the chance to listen in on the discussion afterwards and Heather Chi, an urban planner at URA spoke about the Community in Bloom report published by the National Environment Agency (NEA). The discussions zoomed in on how feasible it is to grow tropical food in Singapore and whether there will be people willing to change their diets. This would mean, a diet based on potatoes, sweet potatoes. Linda, a local food enthusiast and food03 staff member, spoke about how rice is seen to be a form of food rations back in the days. She raised an important point about changing our mindsets and actively making our diet accessible to us is lacking. To switch diets would prove to be a challenge. I am quite excited at the prospect of urban farming. I'd like to have one of those for my own!

Curry Leaves

I'm researching on ways to make a curry leave paste/chutney. Apparently, the light green colour is achieved by blending young curry leaves, not the older ones which are in dark green colour.

And check this out! Pear cut in small cubes and mixed with plain yoghurt, set in the freezer for a day tastes really refreshing! Easy on the stomach too!

Ghast @ Gas Haus

Event: Ghast at the Gas Haus
Time: 8pm - 1130pm
Date: 24 August 2006
Venue: Gas Haus
Djs: Ducky Star, Topgear, DualTone, Mark Koh, Netheraven
Guest Emcee: Marauder Music
Genre: Drum n Bass, Industrial, Ebm